A Decade Lived
It's New Year's Eve. I'm sitting at our kitchen table, lights off, fireplace burning, with a glass of wine and a baby monitor. I have the window cracked in case the fireplace emits too much gas, and it's letting in the noisy fireworks outside. I feel like a scrooge, but I don't like them! But I kind of do, knowing it's a collective holiday, even if I'm spending it alone. The truth is, while I'd prefer to spend the evening with my husband, I've come to realize I enjoy my own company, and that means something.
Looking back over the last decade, I realize I feel just as blessed on the eve of 2020 as I did on the eve of 2010. Back then I was serving in Americorps (the start of this blog in fact), and spent the evening with my close colleagues and friends. That year I was blessed with friends in Seattle, and experienced community in a way I never had and fear I never will again (the good, bad, blessed, and ugly). In 2010 through the present I had a long, deliberate, and progressive path to get to where I am, and I thank God for the blessings and provisions He has provided. In the last decade, I have:
I am blessed now in a different way, with a stability that, in my vagabond-free-spirited days I didn't realize I wanted. Yet, a co-worker asked me yesterday if 2019 was a good year. Yes, I said, with more assuredness than I realized I possessed on the topic. Sure it has been a difficult year, adjusting to parenthood and balancing that with my profession, but it's been a blessed year beyond what 2010 me could comprehend. I share so many laughs, smiles, and silliness with my 19-month old, that there is no use trying to recount all of these precious, fleeting times, because I simply couldn't keep up. I get unexpected kisses from my darling girl, mostly at night while rocking her to sleep, and she decides instead to be silly. I get to say prayers with her (and my niece!), as we hold hands, and she can say "Jesus," and "amen." The smile I get when she sees me at daycare pickup is a reason to keep going if ever I need one. The cuddles, the dances, the chasing the cat while still reminding her to be gentle, it all carries more weighted joy than I ever sought. It has simply been given to me as a precious, beautiful (albeit challenging at times) gift. Praise the Lord.
I also have the two other things that I wanted upon graduating college, in order to feel like I was finally settled: a piano and a cat. First came the cat, the husband, baby, home, then the PIANO. I should write a separate blog post about how I got the piano, but it's a wonderful addition to our family, as I grew up playing, and am now able to teach students and play for pleasure. And my sweet Zinnie, I have posted about her before, but never has she valued our time together as much as when the baby goes to sleep and we have some 1-on-1 peace and quiet time.
While feeling generally nostalgic, the point is that my journey didn't seem like a straight line at the time, but looking back, every one of these milestones has shaped who I am and where I am today, not to mention the relationships and smaller steps along the way. While I'm always growing, hopefully closer to Christ's likeness, I am pleased with the progress I have made and continue to make. Honestly, I have felt the Lord's nudging and His heart recently in a way that brings my heart and my spirit alive in ways I have not felt in a while. It's amazing how He does this, and I hope to have plenty to write concerning this in the months to come.
My goals for the years to come are simply to know God better and focus on my purpose as His child. And to love and be loved.
Blessings to you this New Year's holiday.
Looking back over the last decade, I realize I feel just as blessed on the eve of 2020 as I did on the eve of 2010. Back then I was serving in Americorps (the start of this blog in fact), and spent the evening with my close colleagues and friends. That year I was blessed with friends in Seattle, and experienced community in a way I never had and fear I never will again (the good, bad, blessed, and ugly). In 2010 through the present I had a long, deliberate, and progressive path to get to where I am, and I thank God for the blessings and provisions He has provided. In the last decade, I have:
- Worked for Americorps (Habitat for Humanity)
- Spent part of a summer living in a cob house in California, learning about earth building
- Graduated with my Master of Architecture degree
- Lived in San Francisco
- Served a children's home and school in India with my architecture skills
- Lived at home for a slow change of pace for 7 months while looking for a job as the economy recovered
- Moved out of state for an architecture job
- Became a licensed architect
- Met, dated, and married my husband
- Purchased a home
- Moved companies
- Gave birth to my daughter
I am blessed now in a different way, with a stability that, in my vagabond-free-spirited days I didn't realize I wanted. Yet, a co-worker asked me yesterday if 2019 was a good year. Yes, I said, with more assuredness than I realized I possessed on the topic. Sure it has been a difficult year, adjusting to parenthood and balancing that with my profession, but it's been a blessed year beyond what 2010 me could comprehend. I share so many laughs, smiles, and silliness with my 19-month old, that there is no use trying to recount all of these precious, fleeting times, because I simply couldn't keep up. I get unexpected kisses from my darling girl, mostly at night while rocking her to sleep, and she decides instead to be silly. I get to say prayers with her (and my niece!), as we hold hands, and she can say "Jesus," and "amen." The smile I get when she sees me at daycare pickup is a reason to keep going if ever I need one. The cuddles, the dances, the chasing the cat while still reminding her to be gentle, it all carries more weighted joy than I ever sought. It has simply been given to me as a precious, beautiful (albeit challenging at times) gift. Praise the Lord.
I also have the two other things that I wanted upon graduating college, in order to feel like I was finally settled: a piano and a cat. First came the cat, the husband, baby, home, then the PIANO. I should write a separate blog post about how I got the piano, but it's a wonderful addition to our family, as I grew up playing, and am now able to teach students and play for pleasure. And my sweet Zinnie, I have posted about her before, but never has she valued our time together as much as when the baby goes to sleep and we have some 1-on-1 peace and quiet time.
While feeling generally nostalgic, the point is that my journey didn't seem like a straight line at the time, but looking back, every one of these milestones has shaped who I am and where I am today, not to mention the relationships and smaller steps along the way. While I'm always growing, hopefully closer to Christ's likeness, I am pleased with the progress I have made and continue to make. Honestly, I have felt the Lord's nudging and His heart recently in a way that brings my heart and my spirit alive in ways I have not felt in a while. It's amazing how He does this, and I hope to have plenty to write concerning this in the months to come.
My goals for the years to come are simply to know God better and focus on my purpose as His child. And to love and be loved.
Blessings to you this New Year's holiday.
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