One Year In

Oh, what a year it has been.  This time last year I was waddling to work, anticipating my doctor's visit on Friday that would require I work from home the rest of my pregnancy.  We were living in an apartment near the interstate, yet surprisingly close to the woods and Chattahoochee River.

And here I am today, nearly one year later, sitting on our patio in our house, the monitor next to me of my beloved sleeping beauty that I helped lull to sleep minutes earlier.  Rather than living next to the woods, our neighborhood is in a constant tension of full-on suburbia that nature has been trying to re-claim for decades, giving us towering trees, wildlife, and plenty of mosquitoes.

This year has been more challenging, and yet infinitely more rewarding than any other venture I've ever been on.  My little girl brings a deep seated joy to my heart with her every smile, gawk, giggle, and cuddle.  I've also grown an entirely new burden for a population of our society and our world I simply didn't think about in the same way before have children: the orphaned, neglected, and exploited children.  Of course I've always known these things are wrong and unfortunate, but to think another little soul as equally precious, full of potential, and created in God's image as my little one could be thrown aside, or treated as anything less than precious, is a tragedy I simply cannot comprehend.  While we are in no place to adopt or foster at this time, I'm grateful for the families who do take on that burden (and joy!) of caring for 'the least of these.'  It is not hard to realize that they are truly doing the Lord's work.

Sentiment aside, I have also grown immensely during this year, and here are some things I've learned.

• Try to move to a house or wherever you want to raise a child before having a baby, unless you want to punish yourself.  Or at the very least, make sure both parents will be around during the whole process.
• My little one started daycare and me back to work at 5 months old, and that was perfect for us.  She was young enough that there was no separation anxiety (like, at all!  For her, that is), old enough that she could sit up and observe the older kids.  Frankly, even though our daycare is great and a lower-than-legally-required teacher to baby ratio, I am not confident the little bitty babies receive as much attention as they need at that young age.  For me, going back at this time I was consistently more well rested than if I'd gone back at 12 weeks, and I didn't feel compelled to pump at work as much at this point.  (side note: it's a shame the U.S. doesn't provide longer legally protected maternity leave.  That being said, I would advocate for all women receiving FMLA before me and my peers receiving more).
• With childcare, it's important to constantly re-assess if the current situation is the best fit - for you and the baby.  Sometimes I would get frustrated with a situation at daycare, leading me to re-think why she was where she was, but I would remember that she is overall *very* happy, perfectly healthy, and is clearly learning.  Also it was a perfect location for me between home and work.  Also a side note, while I was adamant about a daycare vs. in home care, and I still believe this, as I'm glad for their rules, regulation, and network of care providers, I'm starting to see why people may prefer an in-home care provider as well.
• While 10 weeks was a turning point for us in terms of our LO's awareness, the ~6 month mark was too, in terms of sleep and fun.  Around that time, our little girl just became more aware, more mobile and interactive, and we just started having fun *together*.  
• Down time needs to be scheduled everyday.  Between bottle washing, baby food prep, general house cleaning, and my own prep for the next day, for several months there was little time to do anything else at night.  I found it important to fit in relaxing time, though, so I felt like I had some control and leisure.
• Seriously - before having a baby, take notes on how you spend your time each day.  I really wonder what I did with all of my time before having a baby.  I read this advice pre-baby and thought to myself, surely it won't change that much.  And yet, what was I doing with my time?  I have no idea!
• Don't make assumptions - if you don't know what food someone is offering your child, or if they washed their hands, etc., don't hope for the best.  You may feel silly or militant, but make sure people are positive influences on your child as you see fit.  
• Planes rides *can* be done.  I would recommend going as both parents rather than solo, with all the gear you need, but so far our little one was ridden just fine (it was a big challenge to me taking her alone on a trip, but it got done!).

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. _James 1.27

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" _Matthew 25:40